Inhibition

Dear Jack,

Have you ever wanted to dance naked in the moonlight? I'm laughing as I type that, because tonight, it's not a metaphorical question. Tonight the moon is almost full, the clouds around it are lending to it an air of mystery and beauty, not danger and horror. Tonight the temperature is well above what would be considered normal (even in Texas), with only a slight breeze to give it a crisp, clean feeling.

Tonight would be the night to do it, if one so desired. A part of me really does, but there is too much holding me back. Literally and figuratively.

There are times in life when I wish that artistic expression could be recognized for just that, and that people who do things in the name of art were all wonderful human beings dedicated to that art, instead of a few psychos who have given us all bad names.

Sometimes I think that I romanticize life too much. But then again, a true romantic would never think that. I once described myself to Dr. Lewis as a Realist with Romantic tendancies. I wonder on nights like these if perhaps the two are not reversed. I wish I knew, regardless.

I wish I knew many things. I wish I knew the square root of 467, I wish I knew what happened on the last season of Alias, I wish I knew that life truly does have meaning, and what that meaning is. 42 notwithstanding, of course.

Tonight I wish I could dance naked in the moonlight, and tonight I wish I knew that if I did, no one would be watching.

Always the ballerina,
John